Memories





So I don't really have a lot to say, but I have been looking through some old pics and they have really made me smile. It is so fun to go back and sort through old memories. I love seeing the images of my girls growning up and how much they have changed. They were and always will be my sweet little babies.

I remember when Maddy cut Magaily's bangs like this, she said Mommy she couldn't see I was just helping her.

Rock and a hard place.

I have so much going on in my head right now. I cannot even possibly begin to put it down at this very moment. So I am going to be a bad blogger and just give you guys a pic that has some of my favs. Best friend I need you!



Janis

So today on my 30 day challenge was who would you like to trade places with for the day. I chose Janis Joplin. She had such soul. She was beautiful without trying to be, I love her beatnik style. I love the layers and the jewlrey and messy hair. She is one of my favorite people. I truly feel I was born in the wrong decade. I would have loved to see her in concert. It is a shame she is no longer with us, but I think she always knew she wouldn't be. Here is on of my favorite descriptions of her "The premier white female blues vocalist of the 1960s, who dazzled listeners with her fierce and uninhibited musical style. "1943-1970  I am going to include in this post some of my favorite quotes from Janis. I when you read them you understand why I feel such a connection to her.

"I'm one of those regular weird people."

"If I hold back, I'm no good. I'm no good. I'd rather be good sometimes, than holding back all the time. "

"On stage, I make love to 25,000 different people, then I go home alone. "

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. "

"Audiences like their blues singers to be miserable."

"I'd trade all my tommorows for a single yesterday."

“It's gonna be a long hard drag, but we'll make it."

"I hope you're going to edit this stuff. I don't want to sound like a senile, self-pitying chick babbling on and on about her days of glory."

"I'm a victim of my own insides. There was a time when I wanted to know everything. I read a lot. I guess you'd say I was pretty intellectual. It's odd, I can't remember when it changed. It used to make me very unhappy, all that feeling. I just didn't know what to do with it. But now I've learned how to make feeling work for me. I'm full of emotion and I want a release, and if you're on stage and if it's really working and you've got the audience with you, it's a oneness you feel. I'm into me, plus they're into me, and everything comes together. You're full of it. I don't know, I just want to feel as much as I can, it's what 'soul' is all about."

"People expect Janis Joplin to be a tough bitch, and say I start talking to them like a lonely little girl--that's not in their image of me--they don't see it. Say you meet somebody you've heard about, you don't ever see them, you don't see who they are and who they need to be recognized as, you see who you need them to be."



I am me...

I am Crystal. I like red purses. I like folk art. I like to listen to rock and roll, blues, and old country. I like to shop but not actually buy things. I care more about my appearance than I like to think I do. I like tress, and snow. I love birds and horses. I like purses that have really cool prints on the liner. I am a night owl. I love my girls and all of our memories with all of my heart. I like black, but 9 times out of 10 I buy things in brown. I like things that are vibrant. I love tattoos. I am really fascinated buy people that are covered in them. I am a mix of rock and roll and hippy. I want my girls to be individuals and not ever conform to the norm. I am me!

What if?

What if I had finished college? What if I would have married Jimmy? What if I had stayed in Albuquerque? What if I hadn't moved to Kentucky? What if I hadn't burned a bridge with my parents? What if I hadn't had to live in my car? What if I didn't spend alot of time doing things I shouldn't? What if I hadn't gotten married to someone I knew I shouldn't? I wouldn't be the person I am now, I wouldn't have found myself, and I wouldn't have all the wonderful things, and all the wonderful memories. My life is far from perfect, but it is mine. I have 2 beautiful girls that love me, I have a job that I love, and a family that still puts up with me despite my mistakes. I know there are things I can go back and change, and hopefully someday I will, but for now I am happy (well except for the still being single part). One day that too will change, as the song goes Someday My Prince Will Come.

Tuesday's Gone with the Wind

Another day has come and gone. Another extremely busy day at work. I am ready for springtime! Although it does have it's fair share of issues as well! I have been doing alot of thinking this week and I can promise you that it will result in a very lengthy blog one day this week. In theean time I will leave you with a pic that reminds me of hope for brighter days..

Just another Manic Monday

Today was so busy, and I don't feel like writing about it so I am going to let you guys look at a pic of a bird that I found today that I love! I love everything about this picture, the bird, the colors, the flowers, the leaves, and the music notes. Oh and Maddy had her Christmas program tonight. Yeah that's right I said Christmas program. It had to be rescheduled 3 times due to snow. She was the cutest darn bee out there!

A rose by any other name....

.....would it smell as sweet? I don't think so. I think our name says alot about us. Not only does our name say alot about us I think the name that you go by is the personality that you tend to represent. Take for instance my name is Mary Crystal. I go by Crystal. There is no other name that would fit me better than Crystal, but I am also very much a Mary too. My cousin and best friend her name is Tamara Crystal. She however goes by Tamara or Tammy, both very strong, organized, stable, got it together names, but she also has a bit of Crystal in her too. She is also a free spirit and has a gypsy soul, even if it is not the outward appearance that you always get. Myself however, I am never put together, I am a rambling, unorganized, free soul that flitters around from thing to thing, but I also have a bit of Mary in me also. I long for someone to "tie me down" in a since, I want the stability of a relationship, and I know that contridicts the Crystal in my but I do long for it. I need someone that understands my need to be free, but also my need to be loved. So many people that I know match their names, when you hear a name we all have a certain expectation of that person. I hope that I truly do fit my name, because I love it. So no a rose by any other name would not smell as sweet, I am sure that is why roses are my favorite!

Liars

Ok so I just had an enlightening situation and I just had to get this off my chest. I HATE LIARS!!!!! If you can't tell the truth, don't take the time to make up some boguss story and not expect to get caught. Also if you want to lie to someone about where you have been and what you have been doing don't check in someplace on facebook when the person that you are lying to is your friend on facebook.

You're only as old as you feel

So I have a night alone, my girls are at sleepovers. I decided to invite my best gal out. We went out 7:30ish, by 10 I was ready to go home and get in bed. I ordered 2 drinks didn't even drink half of either. I suck! I am the oldest almost 30 year old I know!

Snow day fantasy

So as I was doing things in the freezing cold not feeling so well, I had this brilliant idea to come up with a fantasy to keep me warm. In my fantasy I find a mega rich old man to be my sugar daddy, move into his beach house very similar to the one above, sit on the beach and drink margaritas all day. I also plan on having a hot personal trainer who gets paid to get physical with me. I know this is a silly little fantasy but it was nice while it lasted. Oh well back to the real world, lots of snow, no hot personal trainer, no rich sugar daddy. C'est la vie!

Dear Snow......

....you disappointed me today. You were supposed to be here this morning and not mid afternoon. Next time could you please be a little more cooperative. Thanks, Crystal ;)

cake, yoga, sex and bathtubs

Early bird vs. Night owl

I am a night owl. I don't do early mornings. However when I do get up early and actually get going I feel so much better and have a much more productive day.  I really should keep it up, but I won't I love my nights too. I love stars, and the sounds of night. Except for the damn coyotes that keep trying to get our animals. I like to listen to them if they are off in the distance, but if they are in my territory no thank you!

So all in all I think maybe the early bird does catch the worm, but the night owl has fun eating the leftovers!

Some of my favorites

Ok so I am being lazy tonight and don't really have anything to write about so here are a few of my fav's....

Time

So as everyone knows I have a blatant disregard for time. I don't know that I have ever been on time for anything. I apparently live in my own little time bubble. It's not that I necessarily try to be late, it just happens. I could start getting ready 2 hours ahead of time and still manage to be at least 5 minutes late. I am the person that will be late to their own funeral. Now that being said on a completly different time subject, if you don't have time to spend with me don't waste my time. Also if I am ready to do something I am ready to do it now. I don't want to fiddlefart around, I want to get it done now. Now just so everyone knows this is a completly random statement, well not really there is a point behind it, but it is not totally pointed at anyone in particular.

On a totally seperate note, me and the best girl went out 2 nights this weekend. It wasn't anything special just 2 nights of sitting and chatting and drinking a beer. Tonight it was listening to a little music as well. We have really had some great convo's about us and our difference's. It is funny how what makes you different is what makes you inveious of the other. I do however feel that if it wasn't for our difference's we wouldn't get along as well. She is so wonderful to just sit a people watch with, especially when there is nice looking people (guys, with tattoos, and look like your mothers worst nightmare, but oh how I love them) to look at!

Free as a bird

"Don't ask her why she needs to be so free. She'll tell you it's the only way to be."
Rolling StonesRuby Tuesday I pick the prettiest part of the sky and I melt into the wing and then into the air, till I'm just soul on a sunbeam.  ~Richard BachIt doesn't hurt to be optimistic.  You can always cry later.  ~Lucimar Santos de Lima

A bird does not sing because it has an answer.  It sings because it has a song.  ~Chinese Proverb  I have come to the realization that I am not meant to be a bird in a cage. I am me, I am supposed to soar. I would be miserable confined in one space. I have to have space to be me. I need to fly. I know I should have realized this along time ago, and maybe I did I just didn't realize it. I have a swallow tattoo, I wear bird jewlrey. I could sit and watch birds soar all day. I am a dreamer, a forever optimist. I never see the bad in a situation. In my life there is no failure. Life only hurts for a minute, if you can always see the good then the pain goes away quickly and there is good in every situation you just have to take the time to see it. I don't want to be anyone else but me. What good is life if you are always sitting around waiting on something bad to happen? How can you enjoy life if you are always making the worst of every situation? I want to spread my wings and fly. I want to sing a beautiful song. I want to sit in the trees and soak up the sun. I want to be me, and not only do I want to be me I want to be a one of a kind me. I don't want to conform to society because it is the right thing to do. Yes it seems I march to the beat of my own drum, but really I am soaring in the sky to a really bad ass guitar solo. P.S. I am pretty sure the last bird in the second row needs to be on my body somewhere!

Great night

Note to self...don't forget to write a blog about today tomorrow when you are not so tired. I am sure it will have something to do with some people being flighty and others being grounded. Love me!

Happy trees

So this morning got up way to early, went to Starbucks, had a great conversation with a new friend. Forgot to order my coffee since he was already there and I just went straight to the table, but other than that it was great.

Came home, crawled in bed with the girls and slept until 10 it was fantastic! Got up and got ready to go outside, well while I was getting dressed in my cold weather gear, which is quite hilarious btw, I noticed Bob Ross was on. I don't know how he does it, but he just sucks you in. I was so fascinated. I have to know how to do this. He painted a picture very similar to the one above. It was amazing watching him do it. It looked so simple!

Ok so back to me, my life is just as complicated as ever, I really wish I could figure out what I want. Well ok it's not a matter of what I want I know that, but I just don't know what to do. Do you go with the situation that is in front of you? One that hasn't been there in awhile and you really want to go with, or do you continue to wait and be miserable? Why can't we all just live in the valley of that mountain right beside the stream and be happy with life? Why can't we all just sit and watch the happy trees?

Snow dayz.......

Another snow day tomorrow....secretly I am kind of glad, because I have very early morning plans and school would have interfered, but since there is no school....Yay for me!!!!

Today pretty good, although there was that sliver of peanut butter cheese cake, and yes it was really, really good. I know you all say, I don't like cheesecake but pat on the back Paula you did amazing.

Ok so I never talk about my kids so here it goes......Apparently they were really bad today, but I still took advantage of an oppurtunity to buy them some things I thought they would really love and they do. We now have a ton of Tangled things that I got at a really discounted price. They were so excited. I love my girls my life would not even be close to the same without them.

On a sad note, my dad made beef stew tonight it is my favorite, I am thinking of using my freebie meal tonight on the stew. I know I have already been bad once today I feel terrible. I am so guilt ridden right now. What to do what to do.

So here's to another snow day, I will be thanking you when I am sipping coffee in the morning, as long as I make it to my destination in time!

Tired and Cranky

Day 2 = tired and cranky. It was cold when I got up this morning, so I did not get up and run. There was lots of snow. Got to work around 9. Did talk to new friend all day, and an old friend might be coming somewhere close and I might have to go visit. Yay for that! 25 minutes on the treadmill. Good on food all day. Would love some Starbucks! Dealt with just plain old mean person and plain old obnoxious person today. Kids are fighting. It is days like this that I would love to crawl in bed with a warm body beside me. Oh well such is the life of an unhappily single mom!

Day 1, on the way to success.....

Day 1 I must say was pretty great, wake up 6 am, jog/walk on treadmill for 30 minutes, start coffee, 6:45 nice hot shower, 7:10 wake up girls, 7:45(10 minutes later than I wanted to leave) leave the house, 8:05 get to work, pretty decent day at work, except when Ms. Misha Hollingsworth Cobble said "If you put me in your blog I will kick your lilly white a**!", so of course I had to give her a shout out, ok so here comes the good part, shortly after lunch, flirt yeah thats right I said flirt, with a cute marine recruiter (yes he was in uniform), no time flat get done what he needs so I can call him back, call him back, flirt some more when he comes back, then here's where the crazy part comes in, Larissa comes up with a semi boguss excuse to call him back and ask him if he is single, and if he is interested and he said keep the number, so of course then I have to find him on facebook, and what do the inquiring minds want to know, YES I have been talking to him pretty much all night, he is cool, I see a potentially good friend out of the deal, as we all know I am the worlds best at meeting knew people. So all in all Day 1 = SUCCESS!!! Yay me and Go Auburn! WAR EAGLE!!!! I heart me some football!

Welcome to my world

Hi I am Crystal. The mother of 2 little girls. They make me crazy. I try my hardest to be a wonderful, caring, fun mom, but most of the time I feel like I am on a downward spiral (I have a feeling if you ask them they would tell you I am the best mom in the world).  I am hoping that 2011 is going to be my year. I turn 30 this year, dirty thirty as someone keeps reminding me. My goals for this year, lose weight (a ton), run a 5k, take my kids to Walt Disney world, successfully figure out how in the world to save some money, and most importantly no longer be unhappily single, oh yeah and be a good mom.

So here we go about me, I am a free spirit, a gypsy even some might say, I enjoy moving around. I march to the beat of my own drum, and you can bet that drum is always playing a good beat. I have a hard time letting people no when I am feeling blue, which is alot more frequently than people think. Most of the time I could always use a good hug, which is either going to a.( make me smile or b.( make me cry, both of which will be a good thing. I love earrings, and necklaces, but not the real kind. I love skirts and dresses, and really wish I had the legs to pull the look off. I am a recently reformed nail biter and smoker, very hard habits to quit at the same time but somehow managed to pull them off. I am a lot more traditional than most people give me credit for, I want a picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a giant dog playing in the yard. I also want a barn with lots of other animals, and a rose garden, but also a wildflower garden. I love music, it clenses the soul. My music choices are as random as I am. I love my family. I have the greatest family in the world. Secretly I hope someone follows this and secretly I hope they don't. I have the greatest kids in the whole wide world. I wouldn't trade them for anything. I am sure you will learn to love them and all their quirks as much as I do. I am messy, I love puzzles, and most of all I just want to be loved, for me, I want someone to hold my hand, and kiss me goodbye, and tell me I am beautiful, even when I am in the middle of a meltdown. I want someone to know when to smother me and when to give me my space. So here we go, I hope you all enjoy my wild and crazy, sometimes fun and magical, wonderful life.