30

I am 30. Not only is that depressing enough by itself I am 30 and single. At first I was ok with the idea of it, now not so much. Don't get me wrong I do love my single status and I don't really mind bring 30 so much but the combination of them together just sounds kind of depressing. Oh well like I said this is the year to do something about it, so my birthday wish find someone worth my time before hitting the big 3-1! Wish me luck!

Bad Blogger/Guilty Pleasures

Yes I admit it, I started out strong, but I am a bad blogger. I have not taken the time to actually get on the computer in forever. I suck I know. I am however back now. Not only am I am back I am going to admit to you a guilty pleasure of mine. I like to steal my kids Nintendo DS and sit in the bathtub and play games. My new favorite, well actually its an old fav Super Mario Bros.



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Memories





So I don't really have a lot to say, but I have been looking through some old pics and they have really made me smile. It is so fun to go back and sort through old memories. I love seeing the images of my girls growning up and how much they have changed. They were and always will be my sweet little babies.

I remember when Maddy cut Magaily's bangs like this, she said Mommy she couldn't see I was just helping her.

Rock and a hard place.

I have so much going on in my head right now. I cannot even possibly begin to put it down at this very moment. So I am going to be a bad blogger and just give you guys a pic that has some of my favs. Best friend I need you!



Janis

So today on my 30 day challenge was who would you like to trade places with for the day. I chose Janis Joplin. She had such soul. She was beautiful without trying to be, I love her beatnik style. I love the layers and the jewlrey and messy hair. She is one of my favorite people. I truly feel I was born in the wrong decade. I would have loved to see her in concert. It is a shame she is no longer with us, but I think she always knew she wouldn't be. Here is on of my favorite descriptions of her "The premier white female blues vocalist of the 1960s, who dazzled listeners with her fierce and uninhibited musical style. "1943-1970  I am going to include in this post some of my favorite quotes from Janis. I when you read them you understand why I feel such a connection to her.

"I'm one of those regular weird people."

"If I hold back, I'm no good. I'm no good. I'd rather be good sometimes, than holding back all the time. "

"On stage, I make love to 25,000 different people, then I go home alone. "

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. "

"Audiences like their blues singers to be miserable."

"I'd trade all my tommorows for a single yesterday."

“It's gonna be a long hard drag, but we'll make it."

"I hope you're going to edit this stuff. I don't want to sound like a senile, self-pitying chick babbling on and on about her days of glory."

"I'm a victim of my own insides. There was a time when I wanted to know everything. I read a lot. I guess you'd say I was pretty intellectual. It's odd, I can't remember when it changed. It used to make me very unhappy, all that feeling. I just didn't know what to do with it. But now I've learned how to make feeling work for me. I'm full of emotion and I want a release, and if you're on stage and if it's really working and you've got the audience with you, it's a oneness you feel. I'm into me, plus they're into me, and everything comes together. You're full of it. I don't know, I just want to feel as much as I can, it's what 'soul' is all about."

"People expect Janis Joplin to be a tough bitch, and say I start talking to them like a lonely little girl--that's not in their image of me--they don't see it. Say you meet somebody you've heard about, you don't ever see them, you don't see who they are and who they need to be recognized as, you see who you need them to be."



I am me...

I am Crystal. I like red purses. I like folk art. I like to listen to rock and roll, blues, and old country. I like to shop but not actually buy things. I care more about my appearance than I like to think I do. I like tress, and snow. I love birds and horses. I like purses that have really cool prints on the liner. I am a night owl. I love my girls and all of our memories with all of my heart. I like black, but 9 times out of 10 I buy things in brown. I like things that are vibrant. I love tattoos. I am really fascinated buy people that are covered in them. I am a mix of rock and roll and hippy. I want my girls to be individuals and not ever conform to the norm. I am me!

What if?

What if I had finished college? What if I would have married Jimmy? What if I had stayed in Albuquerque? What if I hadn't moved to Kentucky? What if I hadn't burned a bridge with my parents? What if I hadn't had to live in my car? What if I didn't spend alot of time doing things I shouldn't? What if I hadn't gotten married to someone I knew I shouldn't? I wouldn't be the person I am now, I wouldn't have found myself, and I wouldn't have all the wonderful things, and all the wonderful memories. My life is far from perfect, but it is mine. I have 2 beautiful girls that love me, I have a job that I love, and a family that still puts up with me despite my mistakes. I know there are things I can go back and change, and hopefully someday I will, but for now I am happy (well except for the still being single part). One day that too will change, as the song goes Someday My Prince Will Come.