2012

It's a brand new year, and I am pretty sure I am officially the worst blogger on the planet. I am not going to say that I will attempt to be a better blogger this year, because I know I won't, it is not healthy to try to set unrealistic expectations for yourself. I am however happy to say that I officially started 2012 out no longer single. Yes that's right the unhappily single mom found someone to date. So we will see where this takes us, so far so good, lets keep our fingers crossed. I will do my best to keep you updated. Happy New Year to you all, and I hope this new year brings you as many of life's joys as possible!

Jealousy

I am not a huge fan of Mothers Day. Wait that is not true, I am grateful on this day that I am a mother of two absolutely wonderful, beautiful little girls. I am so proud that I got chosen to raise these blessings. I hope that I always show them the love and compassion that I never got as a child, or even now as an adult. I hope they never feel that I don't think they are good enough or pretty enough or that if they do one little thing wrong that I love them anyless. I will never lock them out or tell them they are stupid. I will never judge them if they have a few more pounds than what I think they should have. I will give them proper freedom and not keep them from having sleep overs. I will not let them be the kids that no one wants to stay with because their mom is so mean and yells all the time. I will not call them names and will not discourage them in whatever adventure they want to partake. On this Mothers Day I have one wish and that is to NOT be like my mother. I am so jealous of everyones post about how wonderful and kind their mothers are, I hate that when everyone else was putting up pics of their moms for Mothers day I feel left out because I don't feel that way about my mom. I wish I had that kind if mom and I pray and hope that my kids look at me as one of those truly exceptional moms that they can consider their best friend. I love you My Maddy Brooke and Magaily Alice, I promise to you on this day to always love you unconditionally.

30

I am 30. Not only is that depressing enough by itself I am 30 and single. At first I was ok with the idea of it, now not so much. Don't get me wrong I do love my single status and I don't really mind bring 30 so much but the combination of them together just sounds kind of depressing. Oh well like I said this is the year to do something about it, so my birthday wish find someone worth my time before hitting the big 3-1! Wish me luck!

Bad Blogger/Guilty Pleasures

Yes I admit it, I started out strong, but I am a bad blogger. I have not taken the time to actually get on the computer in forever. I suck I know. I am however back now. Not only am I am back I am going to admit to you a guilty pleasure of mine. I like to steal my kids Nintendo DS and sit in the bathtub and play games. My new favorite, well actually its an old fav Super Mario Bros.



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Memories





So I don't really have a lot to say, but I have been looking through some old pics and they have really made me smile. It is so fun to go back and sort through old memories. I love seeing the images of my girls growning up and how much they have changed. They were and always will be my sweet little babies.

I remember when Maddy cut Magaily's bangs like this, she said Mommy she couldn't see I was just helping her.

Rock and a hard place.

I have so much going on in my head right now. I cannot even possibly begin to put it down at this very moment. So I am going to be a bad blogger and just give you guys a pic that has some of my favs. Best friend I need you!



Janis

So today on my 30 day challenge was who would you like to trade places with for the day. I chose Janis Joplin. She had such soul. She was beautiful without trying to be, I love her beatnik style. I love the layers and the jewlrey and messy hair. She is one of my favorite people. I truly feel I was born in the wrong decade. I would have loved to see her in concert. It is a shame she is no longer with us, but I think she always knew she wouldn't be. Here is on of my favorite descriptions of her "The premier white female blues vocalist of the 1960s, who dazzled listeners with her fierce and uninhibited musical style. "1943-1970  I am going to include in this post some of my favorite quotes from Janis. I when you read them you understand why I feel such a connection to her.

"I'm one of those regular weird people."

"If I hold back, I'm no good. I'm no good. I'd rather be good sometimes, than holding back all the time. "

"On stage, I make love to 25,000 different people, then I go home alone. "

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. "

"Audiences like their blues singers to be miserable."

"I'd trade all my tommorows for a single yesterday."

“It's gonna be a long hard drag, but we'll make it."

"I hope you're going to edit this stuff. I don't want to sound like a senile, self-pitying chick babbling on and on about her days of glory."

"I'm a victim of my own insides. There was a time when I wanted to know everything. I read a lot. I guess you'd say I was pretty intellectual. It's odd, I can't remember when it changed. It used to make me very unhappy, all that feeling. I just didn't know what to do with it. But now I've learned how to make feeling work for me. I'm full of emotion and I want a release, and if you're on stage and if it's really working and you've got the audience with you, it's a oneness you feel. I'm into me, plus they're into me, and everything comes together. You're full of it. I don't know, I just want to feel as much as I can, it's what 'soul' is all about."

"People expect Janis Joplin to be a tough bitch, and say I start talking to them like a lonely little girl--that's not in their image of me--they don't see it. Say you meet somebody you've heard about, you don't ever see them, you don't see who they are and who they need to be recognized as, you see who you need them to be."



I am me...

I am Crystal. I like red purses. I like folk art. I like to listen to rock and roll, blues, and old country. I like to shop but not actually buy things. I care more about my appearance than I like to think I do. I like tress, and snow. I love birds and horses. I like purses that have really cool prints on the liner. I am a night owl. I love my girls and all of our memories with all of my heart. I like black, but 9 times out of 10 I buy things in brown. I like things that are vibrant. I love tattoos. I am really fascinated buy people that are covered in them. I am a mix of rock and roll and hippy. I want my girls to be individuals and not ever conform to the norm. I am me!

What if?

What if I had finished college? What if I would have married Jimmy? What if I had stayed in Albuquerque? What if I hadn't moved to Kentucky? What if I hadn't burned a bridge with my parents? What if I hadn't had to live in my car? What if I didn't spend alot of time doing things I shouldn't? What if I hadn't gotten married to someone I knew I shouldn't? I wouldn't be the person I am now, I wouldn't have found myself, and I wouldn't have all the wonderful things, and all the wonderful memories. My life is far from perfect, but it is mine. I have 2 beautiful girls that love me, I have a job that I love, and a family that still puts up with me despite my mistakes. I know there are things I can go back and change, and hopefully someday I will, but for now I am happy (well except for the still being single part). One day that too will change, as the song goes Someday My Prince Will Come.

Tuesday's Gone with the Wind

Another day has come and gone. Another extremely busy day at work. I am ready for springtime! Although it does have it's fair share of issues as well! I have been doing alot of thinking this week and I can promise you that it will result in a very lengthy blog one day this week. In theean time I will leave you with a pic that reminds me of hope for brighter days..

Just another Manic Monday

Today was so busy, and I don't feel like writing about it so I am going to let you guys look at a pic of a bird that I found today that I love! I love everything about this picture, the bird, the colors, the flowers, the leaves, and the music notes. Oh and Maddy had her Christmas program tonight. Yeah that's right I said Christmas program. It had to be rescheduled 3 times due to snow. She was the cutest darn bee out there!

A rose by any other name....

.....would it smell as sweet? I don't think so. I think our name says alot about us. Not only does our name say alot about us I think the name that you go by is the personality that you tend to represent. Take for instance my name is Mary Crystal. I go by Crystal. There is no other name that would fit me better than Crystal, but I am also very much a Mary too. My cousin and best friend her name is Tamara Crystal. She however goes by Tamara or Tammy, both very strong, organized, stable, got it together names, but she also has a bit of Crystal in her too. She is also a free spirit and has a gypsy soul, even if it is not the outward appearance that you always get. Myself however, I am never put together, I am a rambling, unorganized, free soul that flitters around from thing to thing, but I also have a bit of Mary in me also. I long for someone to "tie me down" in a since, I want the stability of a relationship, and I know that contridicts the Crystal in my but I do long for it. I need someone that understands my need to be free, but also my need to be loved. So many people that I know match their names, when you hear a name we all have a certain expectation of that person. I hope that I truly do fit my name, because I love it. So no a rose by any other name would not smell as sweet, I am sure that is why roses are my favorite!

Liars

Ok so I just had an enlightening situation and I just had to get this off my chest. I HATE LIARS!!!!! If you can't tell the truth, don't take the time to make up some boguss story and not expect to get caught. Also if you want to lie to someone about where you have been and what you have been doing don't check in someplace on facebook when the person that you are lying to is your friend on facebook.

You're only as old as you feel

So I have a night alone, my girls are at sleepovers. I decided to invite my best gal out. We went out 7:30ish, by 10 I was ready to go home and get in bed. I ordered 2 drinks didn't even drink half of either. I suck! I am the oldest almost 30 year old I know!

Snow day fantasy

So as I was doing things in the freezing cold not feeling so well, I had this brilliant idea to come up with a fantasy to keep me warm. In my fantasy I find a mega rich old man to be my sugar daddy, move into his beach house very similar to the one above, sit on the beach and drink margaritas all day. I also plan on having a hot personal trainer who gets paid to get physical with me. I know this is a silly little fantasy but it was nice while it lasted. Oh well back to the real world, lots of snow, no hot personal trainer, no rich sugar daddy. C'est la vie!

Dear Snow......

....you disappointed me today. You were supposed to be here this morning and not mid afternoon. Next time could you please be a little more cooperative. Thanks, Crystal ;)

cake, yoga, sex and bathtubs

Early bird vs. Night owl

I am a night owl. I don't do early mornings. However when I do get up early and actually get going I feel so much better and have a much more productive day.  I really should keep it up, but I won't I love my nights too. I love stars, and the sounds of night. Except for the damn coyotes that keep trying to get our animals. I like to listen to them if they are off in the distance, but if they are in my territory no thank you!

So all in all I think maybe the early bird does catch the worm, but the night owl has fun eating the leftovers!

Some of my favorites

Ok so I am being lazy tonight and don't really have anything to write about so here are a few of my fav's....

Time

So as everyone knows I have a blatant disregard for time. I don't know that I have ever been on time for anything. I apparently live in my own little time bubble. It's not that I necessarily try to be late, it just happens. I could start getting ready 2 hours ahead of time and still manage to be at least 5 minutes late. I am the person that will be late to their own funeral. Now that being said on a completly different time subject, if you don't have time to spend with me don't waste my time. Also if I am ready to do something I am ready to do it now. I don't want to fiddlefart around, I want to get it done now. Now just so everyone knows this is a completly random statement, well not really there is a point behind it, but it is not totally pointed at anyone in particular.

On a totally seperate note, me and the best girl went out 2 nights this weekend. It wasn't anything special just 2 nights of sitting and chatting and drinking a beer. Tonight it was listening to a little music as well. We have really had some great convo's about us and our difference's. It is funny how what makes you different is what makes you inveious of the other. I do however feel that if it wasn't for our difference's we wouldn't get along as well. She is so wonderful to just sit a people watch with, especially when there is nice looking people (guys, with tattoos, and look like your mothers worst nightmare, but oh how I love them) to look at!